Iroh: I haven’t had a vacation in years. This is my vacation. I’m exercising, I’m sleeping well.

Zuko: You’re doing time.

Iroh: I’m doing the time of my life.

Iroh: I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.

Zuko: What are you doing? Are you trying to cry?

Iroh: Well, I guess he really misses his family.

Azula: Well, he doesn’t know us very well.

Hakoda: That’s the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Bato: They have boats?

Ozai: If you’re saying I play favourites, you’re wrong — I love all my children equally.

…earlier that day

Ozai: I don’t care for Zuko.

Aang: What an adventure, gang. I thought that the homosexuals were pirates. But it turns out that most of them were actors in the local theatre.

Azula: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire!

Katara: What comes before anything? What have we always said is the most important thing?

Sokka: Breakfast.

Katara: Family.

Sokka: Family, right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

Ozai: It had to be your mom. They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.

Zuko: Yeah? I don’t think that that’s true, Dad.

Ozai: Really? I’ve got the worst (bleep)ing attorneys!